originally posted 04 October 2014
This has to be the works of several geeks. Because no one regular person could have blown it this badly.
The Guardians of the Galaxy mixtape is about as pedestrian as one can get. Yes, I know it has sold well and the film itself is the biggest thing in theatres this year. The question is, why wasn’t someone who really knows a thing or two about 1970s music even consulted on this? How about someone who used to make these on his own, as many of us who discovered the Sony Walkman did in the early 1980s?
What went wrong:
1. This is obviously geared toward major hits. Any true mix tape has deep cuts and fan favorites on it, not an endless collection of big singles. And a mix tape, like any good album of the era, has flow and a feel to it. This looks like darts on a map thrown backwards by someone blindfolded.
2. These tracks have been featured in many films before, and sequenced better. Any part of the “Have A Nice Day” series from Rhino Records surely trumps this. Forrest Gump followed a similar path as this soundtrack, but it was executed better, for example.
3. This was supposed to be reminiscent of the 1970s. Tammi Terrell was dead by 1970, and the song included here, a duet with Marvin Gaye, came out in 1967. Truth be told, bonus points would have been given here if the flip, “Give A Little Love”, was used instead. Epic. Fail.
4. The mix itself runs at about 45 minutes. The most common form of mix tape cassette were 90 minutes in length, which pretty much would hold two distinct LP’s of tunes, as most albums run at about 40 minutes. If the packaging is any idea to the length of the original cassette, we are still 15 minutes short. (Check the bottom right hand corner of the vinyl release and this will be impressed upon you.)
5. “Spirit In The Sky”, the old whore of every late 60’s/early70’s period-era soundtrack is included AND IT ISN’T EVEN IN THE FILM, only in the trailer. That tramp was even in Adam Sandler’s remake of The Longest Yard, for chrissakes. At least this film now has something in common with Encino Man, which did the exact same thing.
6. And, the most heinous of them all, in two words: Blue Swede. This mixtape says “awesome”, and believe me, there is NOTHING awesome about Blue Swede. Robocop used a big pop hit by a nordic artist in its film that not only worked well, it didn’t want to make you throw up your Raisinets. Hell, Robocop even had the Clash on its soundtrack, for that matter.
I have seen K-Tel collections with more balls than this mess. If you were one of the ones taken by the marketing for this film, my heart goes out to you. But, I’m asking for pâté and getting chopped liver here in the context of this compilation. For all the money put into this film, more care should have been placed in this product. But then again, IT’S A FUCKING DISNEY MOVIE. I should have known better than to expect something better on the soundtrack. A whole new world? You would not guess it by this set of tunes. It has all the charm of a Spaceballs: The Movie hand towel.
If you are fortunate enough to have purchased it on vinyl, you have the one redeeming quality of this soundtrack: its cover art. Well done, but not enough to make this comp the pet rock it was obviously set out to be.
FOR THE RECORD: I thought no one could do any worse that the Charlies Angels: Full Throttle soundtrack. I stand corrected.
Love to you all.
Images courtesy of Hollywood Records