Warning: (Strong Language/Adult Content) #BDSM #Kink #Fetish #Leather
NOTE: There is an update to this article at this link.
And this is why so many outside of the Kink/Leather/BDSM/Fetish community think we are fucking sick freaks.
This is long, but I am hoping that if it reaches one member of the Kink/Fetish/Leather community, then maybe we can save someone else from dying.
I heard today that a young man who was known to me and countless others as Tank died from improperly injected silicone into his genitals. Silicone injections, and their less-destructive cousin saline injections, are a fetish some men use to enlarge their scrotum and penis. It is considered by some to be one of the more extreme body modification fetishes, especially where silicone is involved.
He was just 28 years old.
(Before you believe I am here to shame anyone, think again. I have engaged in this behavior with the much safer saline option in my scrotum, so I know a little about the allure and mystery of said topic with real-world experience.)
My heart breaks for this young man’s untimely and tragic death. I met him a couple of times, and remember him being the sweetest person in the room. Truly and genuinely kind hearted.
One of the writers of articles referenced at the bottom of this post asked that this information be shared. Please do so and hopefully we can save someone from a toxic and possibly fatal relationship disguised as BDSM.
Gossip, Rumours, Suicide and Disappearing
There are so many unanswered questions and a whole lot of rumors going around. All I am going to say is this: Risk/Awareness/Consent scenes are just that. You shouldn’t give consent if you don’t have all the facts to make a proper risk assessment. What you do with your body is your choice. Make the most informed, scientifically accurate and shame-free choice you can for yourself.
I have also heard that his Master, Dylan, is also linked to at least two other similar deaths. Dylan has since vanished from the Seattle area scene. It also seems that Dylan lied about the circumstances and date of Tank’s death online.
On top of all of this, the person who provided the silicone, Joseph Quader, committed suicide in late September of this year before his arraignment on a similar case from 2017.
Bottoms, You Ultimately Have the Power
Toxic relationships disguising themselves as BDSM relationships are unfortunately something that is hardly ever addressed, because there is some concept from those not aware that practitioners of this lifestyle are somehow “damaged” and “not healthy”. THIS IS NOT THE CASE WHATSOEVER. Much like toxic abusers in non-Kink relationships, those being abused are often made to feel inferior and worthless, and only the person causing the abuse has all of the correct answers.
Most importantly, to the bottoms and subs who engage in this other other health adverse behaviors:
- You have every right TO SAY NO.
- You have every right TO ASK QUESTIONS.
- You have every right TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM HARM, which, by the way, is what your Sir/Master/Daddy is supposed to be doing on your behalf IN THE FIRST PLACE.
If your Sir, Daddy or Dom can’t even make these basic requests a reality, consider that a HUGE FUCKING RED FLAG.
Know Who You Are Dealing With
Here are the links to two of the most widely researched articles that detail the events that led to this tragic and needless death, with downloadable PDF options available as well. The best way to avoid these kinds of abusers is to turn them away when you are made aware of them.
Love to you all.
Daddy Ben “Bear” Brown Jr.